just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize