I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize