i don't like sucking hair
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
