he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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