who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
