she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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