I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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