Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
