Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
