the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
