she woke up with a sticky ear
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize