just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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