problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
