is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
