I bet he comes in French.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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