6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
whose parrot is this?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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