Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
