I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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