i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How external is "for external use only"?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
