1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
