He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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