So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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