Already got asked if we're dating
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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