I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
then he tried to convert me to islam
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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