Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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