I just threw up on my dentist
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
