Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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