My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize