I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
