as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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