what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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