You just made me feel so damn special
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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