I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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