After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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