Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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