Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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