it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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