Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You're like the curious george of whores
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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