So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
