that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
