awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My life is pants optional.
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