Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
