ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
