NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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