The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
