Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My nipple is on Facebook.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
