So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
