sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
