Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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