For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The ass gains better be worth it
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