are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
