We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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