rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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