At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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