Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
where am i from again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
