lets start a swedish sibling band together
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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