Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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