I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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